New Direction – or Lack Thereof
Posted last night on Facebook:
Mother Cerridwen, you have boiled and roughened my flesh until it has finally softened from the smooth bone. I saw not the beauty in this transformation until it was complete. Thank you for this lesson. Thank you for the strength I am gaining from it. Thank you for the insights I could never have seen under all that heavy flesh. Bring me forth as lovely bones, mother.
Had a really amazing experience last night. Met with a friend and mentor of mine and had a discussion with lots of revelations to be had. The past few months have been ones of major upheaval for me – surgery, recovery, then finding about my husband’s school acceptance (yay!) and our impending move, and the preparations therein.
My spirituality is a truly sustaining part of my life, and I am grateful for the many outlets I have had to explore it. My revelations last night were a solidification of what I have known to be true for some time, but was not yet ready to fully embrace – I truly am a solitary pagan. A solitary practitioner who loves group work, yes, but truly I am built right now to follow my own path and see where it leads me.
This is certainly no better or worse than those who choose coven or group-intensive work - my longing for that type of life is what clouded my judgment about this aspect of myself, so I have a deep and abiding respect for it, and certainly hope to have the opportunity for much group spiritual practice in the future.
However, I am grateful for this revelation, however hard it may have been. Or easy.