New Direction – or Lack Thereof

Posted last night on Facebook:

Mother Cerridwen, you have boiled and roughened my flesh until it has finally softened from the smooth bone. I saw not the beauty in this transformation until it was complete. Thank you for this lesson. Thank you for the strength I am gaining from it. Thank you for the insights I could never have seen under all that heavy flesh. Bring me forth as lovely bones, mother.

Had a really amazing experience last night. Met with a friend and mentor of mine and had a discussion with lots of revelations to be had. The past few months have been ones of major upheaval for me – surgery, recovery, then finding about my husband’s school acceptance (yay!) and our impending move, and the preparations therein.

My spirituality is a truly sustaining part of my life, and I am grateful for the many outlets I have had to explore it. My revelations last night were a solidification of what I have known to be true for some time, but was not yet ready to fully embrace – I truly am a solitary pagan. A solitary practitioner who loves group work, yes, but truly I am built right now to follow my own path and see where it leads me.

This is certainly no better or worse than those who choose coven or group-intensive work  - my longing for that type of life is what clouded my judgment about this aspect of myself, so I have a deep and abiding respect for it, and certainly hope to have the opportunity for much group spiritual practice in the future.

However, I am grateful for this revelation, however hard it may have been. Or easy.

In gear – for real this time

So after a variety of false starts, I’m hoping I’ve worked up enough discipline to follow through with the studies I really need to get cracking on. I have several important spiritual goals for myself over the next year, and I need to stay focused and on point.

These are the topics I am planning to study:

• The teachings of The Troth (www.thetroth.org)
• The Black Madonna phenomenon
• Recommended reading from the AODA (www.aoda.org)
• General study of Hekate

So far, I have obtained several books about the Black Madonna. I just started reading Ean Begg’s “Cult of the Black Virgin”, which is a fascinating study from an ‘amateur’ perspective. I say that in quotes, because his work is quite professional and thorough – he just doesn’t have a degree, which is no big shakes as far as I’m concerned. So far the book is extremely informative and well put together.

I also now have a copy of “The Troth” teachings. I will be going over that, though I don’t have a study schedule yet. My goal for this week will be developing one.

Then we have the recommended reading from the AODA (Ancient Order of Druids in America). Don’t have anything on that yet – I will aim to have some of their literature in hand by the end of May.

Hekate is going to be a VERY important topic for me. I am considering joining The Covenant of Hekate, which seems to be a very scholarly/community based organization dedicated to studying this Goddess. This also I will have a plan put together for by the end of May.

So, more updates to come. For now, I’ll be working on the Black Madonna and The Troth primarily.

Oooo, a shiny new spiritual practice!!!

…and you know how much I love those.

Thanks to a fantastic post on the wonderful Society of Diana blog, I learned all about some of the proposed origins of Ash Wednesday (which of course is celebrated today). Ash Wednesday was always one of my most favorite celebrations as a Catholic. I loved the feeling of being anointed to a specific purpose – the fasting of Lent – and the visible mark it gave me, to show others I was proud of my faith and spirituality. In a spiritual community that often seemed to feel ashamed of itself (perhaps for some good reasons, I later found out, though I still love Mass and most of the Catholic folks I know!), I positively relished the opportunity to join my fellows in an expression of solidarity.

Being pagan, I now find myself in a community of people not only proud of, but often forced to fight for, their spiritual rights. It is like a constant and refreshing stream of fresh water, and one I am extremely glad of.

So imagine my delight in finding out the possible Heathen origins of Ash Wednesday in Beth’s post, which pulled information from another blog I plan to now follow. I absolutely adore the story of Sigurd and the Volsungs, from which this wonderful anointing celebration springs. Tonight I’m going to develop a little ritual to celebrate this – and I’ll post to let you know how it goes.

The Wild Hunt Once Again Shows Me How Far I Have To Go

I absolutely love Jason at The Wild Hunt. Reading his posts keeps me on top of news in the pagan community, and is constantly introducing me to new authors and teachers who I need to learn from.

Unfortunately, this also often shows me how very small I am in terms of knowledge in this world – a major pagan classic has apparently completely escaped my attention. Jason kindly informed us of the passing of Merlin Stone, a giant in pioneering the Goddess movement long before I was even a twinkle. I’m glad to have been introduced to her legacy, and saddened by our community’s great loss.

I look forward to reading her book, “When God Was A Woman” – unfortunately not available on the Nook, but I hope to obtain it soon.

Sacred Space Conference

I am having an absolutely lovely time at the Sacred Space conference down here in Timonium, Maryland. After everything is said and done I’ll be putting out a much more detailed exposition of everything that goes on (what better way to start the new iteration of Doran’s Path???), but for now suffice to say that it’s absolutely wonderful. I’ve met some of my favorite authors (Jason Miller, Judika Illes, Diana Paxson), and am so looking forward to learning from them in person.

Check out the website for Sacred Space here to find out more information – plan to go next year if you can (or stop by for this weekend!) – it’s definitely worth it!

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